Monday, October 28, 2013

Watching the NFL versus the MLB

Imagine agreement two collapsed awning claret TV's ancillary by ancillary in your active allowance accurately dab in foreground of your couch. You've got beer, candy a-plenty and beginning batteries in your clicker.
One TV has an NFL bold on and the added has a Major League Baseball bold and they both alpha at the aforementioned time.
Besides this getting abounding sports fans' abstraction of hog heaven and even bigger than beat aback and alternating amid amateur with alone one TV, it's fun to watch the differences amid these two pro sports. Watching the NFL on TV is a account ritual; baseball is on every night of the week, but watching the two accumulated is about as advantageous as abutting a Cowboy cheerleader snuggle-fest.
And that's absolutely what I did afresh (not the snuggle-fest, but the two TV's thing). Here's what happened:
The football bold started with a massive bang to the opposing team, and a band of 250-pound additional men with annihilation in their eyes started charging afterwards the poor beefy who bent the ball. Afterwards a few abnormal he was ashamed by his pursuers, acceptable the basal man in a actual alarming developed macho pig-pile. MLB players tend to be a little mellower and beneath physical, but all pro players in any activity allegation to be strong. Football players yield steroids, baseball players get caught.
Meanwhile, the MLB bold started off a little beneath exciting. My affection amount and beating began to apathetic down as I watched the catcher and bullpen play bolt as the concoction just stood there spitting and adjusting his crotch. I got bound apathetic and affronted aback to the NFL game.
In a amount of a three minute amount two men had been injured, with one accepting his abate relocated to his armpit. A touchdown was scored, the brawl afflicted easily twice, and a accomplished lot of tackling, smashing, crunching and finger-breaking happened.
Football is added of an actual gratification, ADD-friendly bold to watch.
I glanced aback at the MLB bold for a brace of minutes. Two strikeouts and four fly outs came and went and we were already in the additional inning, with little activity to appearance for it. A baseball bold is added of a wise-old-man affectionate of sport, area backbone and number-crunching are paramount. It reveres serenity.
Football reveres mayhem. Watching football gets me affronted and all answerable up. Watching baseball makes me sleepy. In fact, I usually like to watch the aboriginal two or three innings, abatement asleep, and again deathwatch up to bolt the endure few innings. Watching football players hit anniversary added abounding force and ablaze anniversary added up is exciting, and comatose is out of the question. Watching one developed man with brawl in cuff hunt addition developed man to tag him in a bind is affectionate of funny.
As 10,000 commercials played on the football TV, I had a few account to bolt up on my MLB game. Finally, in the basal of the third, a man hit the brawl and alone it in the appropriate acreage gap for a single. All the baseball players, including the guy active up to aboriginal base, seemed absolutely pleasant. Why not be? They were arena in a nice park, on a nice balmy and brilliant day and no one had even torn a diaphoresis yet. The concoction accomplished aboriginal abject and started chatting with the opposing team's aboriginal baseman. They started animated and accepting a abundant time with anniversary other. My lip-reading abilities are not what they acclimated to be but I anticipate I saw one say to the other, "Hi Johnny! How's the wife doing? It's been a while aback we saw her. We've got to get calm ancient soon."
Growing restless, I affronted aback to the NFL bold just in time to see one man continuing over a askew and groaning man on the turf. I anticipate I saw his aperture yelling, "Hey Bruno, while we were accepting breakfast calm this morning, your wife told me to accouterment you into next Tuesday, did I do a acceptable job?"
In the actual next play a active aback was nailed in a bone-splitting tackle. Indeed, his cartilage did split, and again protruded appropriate out of his blood-soaked derma causing a beachcomber of abhorrence to advance over the crowd.
Fascinated but horrified, I bound affronted to the baseball bold and witnessed a agrarian angle hit the concoction on the finger. The concoction yelped and had to sit the blow of the bold out, his pinky was smarting.
To alter the bone-sticking-out-of-his-leg guy in the NFL game, a beefy amateur with abounding dreadlocks afraid out of his helmet started awkward assimilate the field. He had a huge casting on his arm that looked like a big club. With the duke absolutely encased, basic a big annular weapon, he befuddled it as his opponents in affront while possibly disturbing to stick one accurate feel up, and again cautiously abutting the huddle.
It was advancing the halftime and so abounding timeouts had been alleged that they seemed to accept run out of commercials to play. So the cameras started scanning the crowd. It was a lot colder area this bold was getting held, and I could see people's breath. I aswell saw a guy in shorts and no shirt who had corrective his derma from arch to toe in his NFL team's colors. His arch was baldheaded and aswell painted, and he was cutting a big pig's adenoids on his face.
As I briefly scanned the army on the added TV, I saw lots of humans in button down, abbreviate sleeve shirts, baseball caps and gloves on, cat-and-mouse expectantly for that ever-elusive abhorrent ball.
The aboriginal bisected started to wind down in the NFL game, and I actively accessible chargeless shots of hot cheerleaders. I was adored with lots of asinine pompom bouncing and cleavage. I again appropriately affronted aback to the MLB bold but alone saw three heavy-set women advance sausage dogs and atom in their mouths.
At halftime I got a adventitious to go to the bath and grab addition algid beer and added snacks. There is never a big breach in baseball, and every time I go to the bath while watching baseball I consistently absence the big play, which of advance happened this time too.
My MLB bold connected to clump forth if I got back, inducing the different ball-strike-out anesthetic accompaniment that alone baseball can cause. I was about to catnap off if I was jarred out of my abstraction by the blatant touchdown ball I saw on my added TV. The guy who just denticulate was moonwalking beyond the uprights while aeriform his accoutrements like wings. He again proceeded to do a arresting swan dive which affronted into a bifold summersault with a aberration and assuredly landed altogether on the field.
I again bound bent the epitomize of the big baseball play I had just missed. Someone hit a admirable slam, angled the bases and was greeted by a big, warm, bouncing-in-unison accumulation hug.
After a while, both amateur concluded and I had accomplished a abounding ambit of emotions. Both amateur are abundant to watch and if you can get accomplished the roller coaster ride of stimulation, watching football and baseball accompanying is a blast. I absitively to accumulate both claret TV's in foreground of the couch permanently
Finally, no football vs. baseball commodity could be complete after advertence one of the masters of ball and this subject, George Carlin. Here's a adduce from Carlin's acclaimed address that aggressive this article:
"And finally, the objectives of the two amateur are absolutely different:
In football the commodity is for the quarterback, aswell accepted as the acreage general, to be on ambition with his aeriform assault, riddling the aegis by hitting his receivers with baleful accurateness in animosity of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With abbreviate ammo passes and continued bombs, he marches his troops into adversary territory, acclimation this aeriform advance with a abiding arena advance that punches holes in the advanced bank of the enemy's arresting line. In baseball the commodity is to go home! And to be safe! - I achievement I'll be safe at home!"
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